Molly Sims
Laura Noakes
A CINEMA, ENGLAND…
Tink was so happy she could burst. Her boyfriend had turned up at her house that morning to surprise her with a bouquet of roses and a trip to the cinema. He was so romantic, she thought with a sigh, as she munched on her popcorn.
‘You know, a few of my friends are making a movie,’ he whispered. They were sat in two red plush seats at the very back of a packed movie theatre. All around them were other couples, families and friends—all excited at the prospect of a brand-new film.
‘Oh really?’ replied Tink, slurping on her cola. ‘We’ll have to go and see it when it’s out.’
Her boyfriend grinned at her, as the screen flickered into life in front of them. Tink threw another popcorn piece into her mouth when suddenly, the screen fizzled away into nothingness.
‘That’s odd!’ Tink turned to her boyfriend, but he wasn’t sitting next to her anymore. His sweets had been discarded on his seat.
She frowned. ‘Sweetheart?’ She called out. ‘Where are you?’
She sat aside her bag of popcorn and began to side-step along their aisle of seats.
‘Excuse me,’ she said, tapping on the shoulder of the man sat a few seats along from them. ‘You haven’t happened to see my boyfriend, have you?’
The man snored in response. He must have drifted off, Tink thought. She slipped past him to ask a family a little further along if they’d seen him. They were also peacefully snoozing. Panic fizzled in Tink’s belly as she hurried passed more unconscious movie goers. Every single person in the theatre was asleep.
And where was he?
Tink’s heart thudded against her chest as the cinema screen began flickering static and crackling loudly…
A SHOPPING CENTRE, ENGLAND…
As Unknown Man 282 strode into the shopping centre, heading for the corner shop to get himself a pint of milk, people gawped at his unusual appearance. He was used to the stares, because he was a little different to your average everyday person. Instead of being a human, he was a walking, talking stick figure with mind-bending powers. Because of his epic abilities, he worked as a stunt man on films. The movie he was working on at the moment was a special one, because it starred three of his friends: Tomato Guy, Pizza Boy and Mr Peas. But he had flown back from filming for a short holiday, and right now all he wanted was some milk to pour on his cornflakes.
He whistled as he passed the television shop, the faces of morning telly presenters smiling back at him. But in an instant, every screen went black. At the same time, there were a series of thuds behind him. Unknown Man spun around, and he saw that every other person in the shopping centre was snoozing on the ground.
Unknown Man 282 frowned, all thoughts of milk drifting away. He stepped closer, so his stick figure face was almost pressed up against the shop window. With a hum, the TV screens in the shop flickered black and white…
A HOSPITAL, ENGLAND…
Rose fiddled nervously with the cuff of her sleeve as she sat in the dreary hospital waiting room, her tail curled protectively round herself. She was sat next to a boy around her age, who, like her, had a furry tail. Whilst Rose was cat-like, the boy had dog and bird features.
‘Rose?’ A bespectacled doctor poked his head round the door.
Rose nodded, gathered up her bag and followed him into his office.
‘Your tests have come back and confirmed what we suspected, that you are part cat.’
Rose blinked back tears, although deep down she wasn’t really surprised. She had long brown hair, which today was swept up into a ponytail, and liked wearing fashionable clothes—like a lot of normal girls her age. But she’d also always had cat ears that poked out of the top of her head, and a fluffy tail.
‘Now, you’re not alone. In fact, there are lots of people like you in the world.’ The doctor continued. ‘Humans mixed with all kinds of animals and, even more unusually, other things—like food for instance.’
Rose nodded, hugging herself as the doctor spoke. Thoughts swirled round her head. I always knew I was different, she thought, but not this different.
‘Us scientific types don’t know an awful lot about why people like you exist, but what we do know is that many of you have incredible abilities and a unique power to do good.’ He turned his computer, so that Rose could see the screen.
On it were three famous superheroes. Mr Peas was a massive pea, with legs and arms poking out the green shell of his body, and a wide grin across his face. Likewise, Pizza Boy was shaped like a slice of pepperoni and cheese pizza, and his friend Tomato Guy was a ruby-red tomato. Hope flooded into Rose. If those three could be heroes, maybe I could be as well?
She smiled she stared at the screen. But, without warning, the image disappeared. Rose frowned. ‘Er, doctor, I think there might be something wrong with your computer?’
She glanced back at the medical man and was shocked to see that he was sound asleep at his desk.
‘What the-?’ Rose began.
PISA, ITALY…
The Liak and The Mixed Creature performed a loop-de-loop and far below them the crowd went wild. It was their last performance of the day, and they were swooping round the historic Italian city of Pisa, doing almost impossible flying moves. It would have been completely impossible, but The Liak and The Mixed Creature were special: they were animal-human hybrids. The Liak was part-lion, eagle, snake and chicken, and the Mixed Creature was a wolf, bird, turtle and penguin combined.
Now they just had one move left: they simultaneously dove into a front twist somersault, the wind hissing around their ears, landing with a bow on the very tip of the world-famous Leaning Tower of Pisa. They waited for the rapturous applause.
But none came. Pisa had fallen silent.
The Mixed Creature knitted his big eyebrows together in confusion.
The Liak frowned, his eagle eyes zeroing in on his audience. They were all asleep, he realised—curled up snoring on the historic pathways of the city.
He pushed off from the tower, soaring down towards the ground. The Mixed Creature followed him. As they landed, The Mixed Creature’s gaze caught on a phone, dropped by one of the snoozing audience members.
‘Look,’ he pointed it out to his friend.
The screen crackled with static, a black and white pattern across it. As he stared, an ominous video message appeared on the phone.
‘Hello remaining heroes of the world,’ sneered someone.
The Liak and The Mixed Creature blinked—they were looking at a blurry image of two unusual looking people: one was a hard-boiled egg, and the other a green pickle!
‘We are Dr Egg and Dr Pickle,’ said the pickle shaped person. ‘And we are in the final stages of our mission to take over the entire world. We have already sent every normal person across the globe to sleep, and now our newly invented robot warriors will track down every superhero and defeat them. Muhahahahahaaa.’
As Dr Pickle evil cackle reverberated in their ears, The Liak and The Mixed Creatures were already hard at work coming up with something to stop their evil plan. Using his excellent Lion-given senses, the Liak sniffed out the closest hero to them.
‘A cat-girl,’ he said to the Mixed Creature, ‘in a hospital in England.’
Without further ado, they leapt into the air, their course set for England.
ENGLAND
After watching Dr Pickle and Dr Egg’s evil video in floods of tears, Tink ran from the cinema, still searching for her boyfriend. Every single person she came across was asleep. As she ran through the beautiful greenery of Rosumere Park, Tink noticed shadows overheard. Two huge creatures flew in the direction of the hospital. Tink wiped her tears on her sleeve and followed them.
Unknown Male 282 left the shopping centre, his fists clenched and face contorted in a scowl. He knew the only ones who would be able to stop the villainous Dr Egg and Dr Pickle was Pizza Boy, Tomato Guy, and Mr Peas. But they were on the other side of the world, filming their movie in Japan! As he puzzled out what to do next, he spotted two flying creatures smash into the hospital next to the shopping centre. Without thinking, Unknown Male 282 headed in the direction of the crash.
Before Rose could get her head around (A) being told she was a cat-girl, (B) her doctor falling asleep, and (C) the creepy video message that appeared on his computer, two creatures smashed through the hospital window. The door to the doctor’s office burst open, and three people burst into the room—the wolf boy she’d been sitting next to in the waiting room, a stick man and a crying girl.
For a moment, they all stared in silence at one another.
And then the robots arrived. Four of them came out of nowhere, stomping into the office and shooting laser beams at the heroes.
An almighty growl escaped Rose’s mouth, and she instinctively flew at the robots, claws first. The others followed her lead.
The robots were strong, fast and brilliant at fighting: they tore chunks out of the flying creatures, smacked the crying lady in her tummy and pinned the stick man on the floor. Only the wolf boy was holding his own.
‘WAIT,’ Rose shrieked, out of breath from all the fighting. ‘We should work together. Let’s spilt into two groups and focus on taking the robots down one at a time.’
The others nodded, and after joining forces the six of them finally defeated the robots.
But before they could revel in their victory, a mobile began to ring.
‘Hello?” The crying lady answered her phone.
‘Sweetheart, it’s me,’ whispered the voice on the phone. ‘Your boyfriend.’
‘Where are you?’
‘I’ve been kidnapped—teleported to a secret lair at this place called Buncredible Burgers. I think it’s somewhere in Japan. You have to rescue me, before it’s too late.’ The phone call cut off, and the lady burst into tears again.
‘Don’t cry–I think I might be able to help us,’ the stickman said, stroking his chin. ‘I happen to know a few heroes who are currently in Japan. One of them–Pizza Boy–is always hungry for fast food. I can use my mind-bending powers to influence him to want to stop for a meal at Buncredible Burgers. We just need to get ourselves to Japan. I’m Unknown Man 282 by the way.’
‘My name’s Rose,’ muttered Rose shyly.
‘Diago,’ said the wolf boy with a wave of his paws.
‘The Liak,’ growled one of the flying creatures.
‘The Mixed Creature,’ said the other, placing his penguin arm around The Liak. ‘And we can fly everyone to Japan!’
MEANWHILE ON A PRIVATE JET FLYING 33,0000 FEET OVER JAPAN…
The plane sliced through white fluffy clouds of the Japanese sky, the passengers completely unaware of the chaos engulfing the world below.
Mr Peas, Tomato Guy and Pizza Boy were the world’s most famous superheroes: they had saved New York City from the evil Umbrella Man, released London from the grip of the dastardly Dagger, and even once rescued a very cute little cat who had gotten stuck up a tree. Their heroics had become so well known that a movie was being made about them! It starred themselves (of course), and a whole host of celebrities—including Meryl Streep. In fact, they were travelling on the plane to go and film the very final scene in their film!
Mr Peas was busy driving the jet, Meryl and the other celebs were having a nap, and Tomato Guy and Pizza Boy were thoroughly hangry*. (*A word that means you are so hungry you’re becoming angry.)
‘I’m STARVING!’ said Pizza Boy. ‘I could really do with some fast food, like a kebab, or fish and chips, or even…’
‘Don’t say it,’ interrupted Mr Peas from the cockpit.
‘…a pizza!’ Pizza Boy finished with a flourish.
‘But we’re halfway to our next filming location. The beautiful snow-capped Mount Fuji!’ groaned Mr Peas.
Pizza Boy’s stomach answered for him: with an anguished, bell-deep growl.
Mr Peas sighed. ‘I suppose we could have a pit stop.…’
‘YES!’ Pizza Boy cheered.
‘Hold on tight, everyone.’ Mr Peas flicked a couple of levers and spun the control wheel to the left.
The plane swerved and dipped downwards; its nose headed towards a building topped with a gigantic plastic burger. As the wheels of their jet touched the tarmac, they could read the illuminated neon sign that sat above the door and said BUNCREDIBLE BURGERS.
‘Meryl, Meryl—wake up!’ Tomato Guy shook the Oscar winning actress by the shoulder. She snored even louder in reply. Tomato Guy frowned. She sure is sleeping deeply, he thought.
‘She’s probably just tired because of all the night shoots we’ve been doing,’ said Mr Peas. ‘Come on—we’ll bring them back some.’
Tomato Guy nodded and followed Mr Peas and Pizza Boy down the plane stairs.
Pizza Boy frowned. ‘It’s oddly quiet here, guys.’ He glared at their silent surroundings: the streets were empty, there were no cars on the round, even the shops looked deserted.
‘You worry too much,’ Mr Peas nudged past him. ‘I’m sure everything is completely fine. And look–the burger shop’s still open.’ He pointed at the flashy sign above the door.’
Pizza Boy’s stomach grumbled. He really did fancy a burger. Banishing his worries to the back of his mind, he yanked open the burger shop door, his only thought whether he was going to order the Triple Cheeseburger Spectacular or the Bacon Burger Bonanza. His friends followed.
What happened next took them all by surprise. Time seemed to shift into slow-motion and fast-forward all at once. In quick succession three things occurred:
‘Ah, heroes, so good of you to join us,’ wheedled Dr Eggs.
‘We’re proud to present to you our latest villainous device to take over the entire world.’ Dr Pickles danced a few jazz hands.
‘THE BRILLIANT BLUEBERRY RAY GUN,’ they shouted in unison.
‘It turns people into our favourite fruit, blueberries!’ Dr Eggs hissed with excitement.
‘And you’re going to be our first test subjects.’ Dr Pickles added. ‘Now, if I could just find the on/off switch…’ He frowned down at his creation.
‘How could you?’ yelled Pizza Boy, shaking with so much rage that one of his pepperoni slices fell off. ‘How dare you try and turn us into…healthy food. This is the greatest betrayal of all.’
‘You won’t get away with this,’ growled Mr Peas.
‘We already have,’ said Dr Egg smugly, as his compadre continued to fiddle with the ray gun. ‘We’ve defeated every single good guy in the entire world—we sent our robot warriors to deal with them. You three are the only ones that remain. But not for long…’
Ice-cold panic shot through the three friends. Before they could say a word or think up a plan to get them out of this mess, Dr Pickle kicked the ray gun and it whirred into life.
‘Aha,’ He said proudly, ‘they it goes. Now we just have to aim it.’
Together, Dr Pickle and Dr Egg turned the machine gun on the heroes. Tomato Guy glared defiantly into the barrel. Mr Peas was too busy trying to escape the robot’s grasp. Pizza Boy scrunched his eyes closed and waited for the inevitable: being turned into blueberries.
But the inevitable never came.
Pizza Boy cracked one eye open.
A group of heroes surged into the burger shop. Some of them were strangers—there was a cat girl, a flying creature, and a wolf-bird hybrid. But Pizza Boy did recognise their friend Unknown Male 282. Dr Eggs and Dr Pickles cowered behind the food counter, leaving their blueberry ray gun spinning out of control—shooting laser beams in all directions.
‘We’ve come to help you defeat Dr Pickle and Dr Egg’s nefarious plan for world-domination,’ said Unknown Male, introducing everyone to each other.
Mr Peas turned his steely gaze to the robot warriors and their doctor overlords. ‘Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s teach these villains a lesson.’
POW!
BAM!
BOOM!
Fists flew. Claws scratched. Mind disintegrating powers zapped burgers into nothingness. In short, chaos ensued.
Mr Peas sent a scatter of petit pois onto the floor, intending to stop the evil Dr Pickle from getting to the blueberry ray gun.
‘AHHHH!’ At the same time The Mixed Creature had rushed forward to block the doctor’s path, inadvertently slipping on Mr Peas’ frozen vegetable weapon. The Mixed Creature windmilled his penguin arms to try and rebalance himself, but it was too late—he clattered to the ground in a flurry of feathers and fur.
Dr Pickle cackled as he hopped over him, headed towards his machine.
‘Sor—’ Mr Peas began to apologise, but before he could finish, Rose collided with him, accidentally scratching him on the cheek with her claws. She hissed and threw herself back at the robot she was fighting.
Unknown Male 282 dodged and dived to miss the laser beam of the blueberry ray gun, trying to fire back shots with his mind powers. Instead, he managed to hit the walls and ceiling, turning huge chunks into blueberries.
Diago battled Dr Egg, throwing punches and kicks at him.
Tomato Guy and Pizza Boy were fighting each other – over the last portion of cheeseburger and fries left in the burger shop.
The burger shop staff and customers continued to snore.
Tink ignored every battle, instead she rifled through the burger shop, flipping tables, upending counters and sending ingredients flying in the relentless search for her missing boyfriend. Unfortunately, in her pursuit of her lost love, she’d managed to accidentally chuck a plate at The Mixed Creature’s head. The burger shop spun in front of The Mixed Creature’s eyes as he rubbed the throbbing bump on his noggin and sat in a pile of peas.
‘STOP!’ Unknown Male 282’s booming voice suddenly reverberated round the burger shop, echoing in each and every hero’s head.
Everyone froze mid fight: Rose atop a robot, her hackles raised and her tail fluffed out in anger; Diago wrestling with Dr Egg, the evil supervillain’s shell cracked in two places, the Liak bared his snake fangs at Dr Pickle, unaware that his powerful lion tail had thwacked Tomato Guy into the shop window. Even Tink paused and turned to blink her tear-filled eyes at Unknown Male 282. The only thing that moved was the out-of-control blueberry ray gun, which jerked around the burger shop, occasionally hitting a snoozing customer with its laser and transforming them into a punnet of blueberries.
‘We’re not getting anywhere,’ Unknown Male 282 continued, ‘there is no way we’ll be able to defeat the baddies if we continue like this. Rose, The Liak, Tink—do you guys remember how we won in the hospital?’
Rose knitted her eyebrows together in confusion.
The Liak shrugged his feathered shoulders.
Tink sniffed up her tears. ‘We worked together.’
‘EXACTLY!’ said Unknown Male 282. ‘That’s what we need to do here. At the moment, we keep getting in each other’s way, accidentally using our powers and abilities on the wrong people! We need a plan.’
‘ARROOOOOOOOOOO,’ howled The Mixed Creature.
‘That’s a great idea, Mixed Creature, we should split into teams!’ exclaimed a slightly-squashed Tomato Guy from the shop window.
‘The Liak and Unknown Male 282, why don’t you focus on defeating Dr Egg and Dr Pickle’s evil robots,’ said Diago.
The Unknown Male nodded. ‘I can zap them with my brain to short-circuit their hardwiring, then The Liak could pick them with his eagle claws and fly them to the middle of nowhere—where they can’t hurt anyone anymore.’
The others murmured in agreement at this idea.
‘Me and Tink could get the sleeping staff and customers to safety,’ Rose suggested shyly, her whiskers twitching.
‘You could put them on our jet,’ said Pizza Boy, ‘it’s in the car park.’
There was another murmur of agreement.
‘The Mixed Creature and I could tie up the bad guys,’ added Diago.
‘While me, Pizza Boy and Tomato Guy neutralise the Blueberry Ray Gun,’ said Mr Peas.
‘Brilliant. That sounds like a plan.’ Unknown Male 282 turned his attention on the nearest of Dr Pickle and Dr Egg’s robot warriors, zapping it with his mind.
‘WARNING: SYSTEM MALFUNCTION,’ blared the robot. ‘DESTRUCTION IMMINENT.’
Unknown Male grabbed its metal midsection and tossed it up into the air for the Liak to catch.
As the Liak swooped out of the burger shop with the robot, Tink and Rose heaved a snoring waitress towards the car park. The Mixed Creature leapt passed them, Dr Pickle held firmly in his jaws. He spat out the screeching super villain onto Dr Egg and pinned them both down with his powerful wolf paws.
‘WOOF WOOF WOOF!’ He barked pointedly at Diago, his banana tail wagging.
‘Of course, I’ll be right back!’ Diago flew towards the burger preparation counter, grabbing a chunk of cheese left to melt on the hob.
‘Diago, can you pass me a knife please?’ asked Mr Peas. He, Pizza Boy, and Tomato Guy puzzled at some tangled wires in the rear of the ray gun.
Diago rifled through the cutlery drawer, retrieving a knife and lobbing it in the direction of the superheroes. Tomato Guy snatched it out of the air.
Diago raced back to The Mixed Creature, cheese stringing between his fingers. Using the melted cheddar, they ran circles round the two doctors, tying them up in knots of gruyere.
‘NOOOOOOOOO!’ screeched Dr Pickles and Dr Egg, wiggling under their binds. ‘Our plan to take over the world is ruined!!’
‘Aha!’ A triumphant Tomato Guy said, as he sliced through a wire. The blueberry ray gun stopped jolting, its whirring fading into almost nothingness. ‘I think that’s it; we’ve done it—defused the gun, ruined the robots, and defeated the doctors!’
The heroes cheered and whooped.
But before they could properly celebrate, the blueberry ray gun gave one last guttural groan. The cheers faded away as a violet laser beam shot out from the gun’s barrel, hitting the two evil doctors squarely. In a flash, both were transformed into blueberries!
Rose began to giggle.
Diago let out a snigger.
Even Unknown Male 282 grinned lopsidedly.
And soon, everyone was in fits of laughter. So much laughter that they almost missed Tink prizing open a fridge, and a muscley tattooed man falling out of it.
‘I’VE FOUND YOU!’
‘Tink!’ He exclaimed, ‘I always believed you would rescue me. Shall we book a mini break to celebrate our reunion. I fancy a beach holiday, maybe in Brazil!’
Tink plastered a gigantic smooch on her boyfriend.
‘Yuck!’ groaned everyone else.
Luton Literature’s Storytelling Project was made possible thanks to our funders, Arts Council England and Luton Rising through Bedfordshire and Luton Communities Fund.